Check
Little secret blogpad
Check
Blogging phone
Check
Camera
Check
FUCK!
I haven't got a bag to put them in!!!!
JULIET!!!!!
14 years ago
Bag check
Check
Little secret blogpad
Check
Blogging phone
Check
Camera
Check
FUCK!
I haven't got a bag to put them in!!!!
JULIET!!!!!
What could possibly go wrong part 1
We buy our tickets at this half-price place (BARGAIN!) called Ultimo Minuto (last minute) which sells tickets to performances at the last minute on the cheap.
Lookin up at the board we bought tickets to Las Zapatillas Rojas (yes it was so good I went to see it twice) and the board said it kicked off at 7:30pm
As it was on in Bario de Pilar, we had to leg it to the Theatro Madrid and got there puffing and panting to find the doors locked.
When we looked at the ticket it said that the show actually started at 8:30pm.
doh...
So today you'd think I'd be a little more careful and check tickets. Faffing about on the net I saw tickets for Sarria and decided to go off and buy them in Renfe.
When I turned up they told me there was no station in Sarria.
hmmmm back to the drawing board.
So I decided to opt for a ticket to Vigo. On the net it said that that would cost 70 Euros so I handed over my card and she gave me a ticket.
As me and Juliet walked down the street we decided to check the ticket and voila!
It cost 177 Euros!!!!
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
Me being me I couldn't be bothered to change it so tonight I go to Vigo on a ticket that costs 3 times as much as a flight to the UK.
What could possibly go wrong my arse!
It's just like the Dosaboys all over again but without the racist Kiwi...
Walking the walk - Camino de Santiago day 0
A new adventure by foot begins tomorrow then...
Talking the talk
I'm supposed to be doing something called the Camino de Santiago, or the Pilgrimage of St. James which is like a very long walk through Northern Spain to Santiago de Compostella, but have encountered the usual end-of-term inertia.
Gotta get off my arse and work out how the hell I'm supposed to get there from Madrid!
Adventure beckons...
It wasn't me
Just to save them some time, I would like to say that it wasn't me.
There. Only six and half billion more suspects to go...
Dosa Boys Insider: Ivan in support
I have not removed either lad from the contributors and I hope that they voice their side of the story but if not I can't twist their arms. Any contribution they make will remain on the site, even though I am admin I won't bother removing anything. I have taken away admin privileges for everyone else though just to ensure that my posts don't get deleted, and to be fair all angles will remain if the lads want to post their sides.
Nick has disappeared off the face of the planet and Ivan sent me this email this morning:
man what you have written on the dosaboys blog is SOOO spot on!!!!
and your own blog is so fucking hilarious.......keep up the good work. it makes really really entertaining reading.
when you back in the uk ? im home in the next few days...would be cool to meet up.
ivan
Flashmob!
This just arrived in my inbox closet-anarchists: Flashmob happening in Victoria Station.
EARS FEET STATION
WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED
MOBILE-CLUBBING
VICTORIA STATION
18:53
WEDNESDAY
4TH APRIL
NOW TELL THE NEXT PERSON YOU SEE
can't wait to glide across victoria's shiny floor
with love
the mobile-clubbing crew
x
www.mobile-clubbing.com
In case you don't know what a flashmob is, it's a spontaneous party where you listen to your walkman and dance at a set time in a public place. Like having your own club on the go! The general public don't realise what is going on.
Here's some random Welsh bird filming the Liverpool street station flashmob last year...
Dosa Boys Insider: Nicks absolution
To those observant amongst you, yes the showdown DOES happen at high noon!
Mr Bread takes a holiday
I'm kinda fond of him actually...
I'm a lion!
Phil says it looks like a Lion's nose! Yay! I'm a lion!
Rickshaw Run Summer 2007
Come on then.
Who's up for it...?
Dosa Boys Day 8: The Showdown!!!
It's coming straight out of my book as I wrote it after the event, no edits. Here goes...
erm...
I'm scouring the site for the evidence but it's nowhere to be found. Hell I don't even LIKE cats...
Dosa Boys Insider: Verbatim
So Dosawatchers, the day you've all been waiting for is here. Day 8 is on it's way at last!
Dosa Boys Insider: The little blog book
Nick had started to lose his head in a big way and I started to fear for my blog book which had been a religion up til now. Especially as I was writing in EVERYTHING that was beign said.
At this point I felt I needed to keep another blog book, the secret small book, in which I put down everything that was said that I knew would get people absolutely fucked if it came out.
Oh dear Nick, thought you'd got away with some of those things you said didn't you...
...and now I have a few days spare. Here we go then...
How to get over a really shitty week...mischief-style!
Last week was just chock full of bullshit, from the death of my best mate Si to relationship breakups to divorce with a few more deaths in between for good measure. It was a really shitty week all round so I gotta say a big thank you to all of my mates here in Madrid for their support.
Take Phil here for instance. He's supporting my shoulders while I do a handstand.
Somehow though, we all managed to pull through and hey look I'm even smiling!
WOOOHOO! First celebrities on mini-Andy!
He went away to see the Real Madrid basketball team last week with none other than the Assistant Coach, Tabak!
Woohoo! Rock on the mini-Fella!
Gutted
*sigh* hindsight is a wonderful thing.
R.I.P. Simon
Racial Stereotyping: Norweigians
Tora is cool and Norweigian.
From this evidence, I hereby conclude that all Norweigians are cool and are called either Tora or Einar.
Priorities again mischief...
Obviously, me being me I wouldn't obviously shag any of them (sorry Jase) but last night I did find myself blogging on Dosa Boys while a girl slept in my bed.
I may not get laid very often but it was a bloody good blog though...
Dosa Boys Insider: The Showdown begins
Keep watching that space, and thanks for all the messages of support!
RIP Simon
My bread dillllemmmma: The second month
The kids sang happy monthday to it in class the other day and we lit candles and everything.
Freaky...
Blogger meetup! ...and I'm still ALIVE!
When she turned up I was hiding behind a bush, then when I finally plucked up the courage to come out of hiding she walked up to me and this bloke came out of nowhere.
I shit myself and nearly jumped in the fountain!
Turns out she's not a psycho, as initial indications suggested, but I'm still not gonna do anythin stupid in case I wake up with a horse's head...
Back to the UK
My Easter break starts on Wednesday but if the funeral is before then I'll fly back before and I'll stay there for about 2 weeks.
Rest in peace Si
Rest In Peace Simon Hearn of The Bargains
You were the finest friend anyone could ask for. I am so shocked and upset that you're gone mate.
Thank you for all the good memories.
I just can't believe you're gone. I am already missing you.
www.myspace.com/thebargains
Considering another blog provider
I gotta admit to feeling a little guilty though, after being with blogger for 5 years. Still yet to be convinced though...
Dosa Boys Insider - The Showdown this weekend
Only you know what happened on day 8 and I've resolved that I've got to write day 7 and 8 all at once, with nothing left out. This weekend will be the big one so make damn sure that you stock up on beer and make yourself comfortable. I don't think I'll bother with pictures, I'll put them up later, but I've just finished day 6 and read onwards. Day 7 and 8 blew me away.
Ivan you know what happened on day 7 and 8 in Calcutta and beyond and you KNOW that the shit is just about to hit the fan. If there are any readers out there who are bothered about reading the truth make your objections clear now.
Dosa Boys Insider - Taking sides
At this point Ivan was really not enjoying the ride, cos Nick was getting REALLY aggressive and could only see the race. And it was all in his mind.
At this point though, and I'm ashamed to say it now, I wanted to try to get to the end because I had to get to Spain and I had a plane to catch. But by this time I realised that we would make the plane but I still thought that, as we'd come this far takin it fast, we may as well go the whole way.
How I was to regret that in a day's time...
Dosa Boys Insider - Hmmm I'm starting to see it now
Day 7 begins and guess who's at the wheel? Yes you guessed it.
Day 8 is the explosive one and the votes seem to indicate that the way to go is to make sure that the truth comes to light.
Here goes...
Blog news - mini-Andy off to the basketball tonight!
Who is it?
Watch that space...
Probably manage a couple more Dosa Boys posts tonight too - it's not like I'm up to my eyeballs in reports or anything...
Painted over
Phew...
They've painted over the graffiti at Arguelles and there's new, crapper graffiti in it's place.
I almost wish it was still there...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Woe is me.
So now I've gotta learn Spanish just to be able to use my phone or I can take it back to the shops and buy the same thing from amazon for the same price but in pounds (yes that's right, you people in the UK are being charged through the nose)
*sigh* I wish I'd had the motivation to look this sort of thing up first...
Was he or wasn't he?
I've been discussing the President of India encounter with Jay. His Indian mate Hari says this on the matter...
Jay,
Great blog by Andy dude,
The president Dr.Kalam is a very very down to earth person so I wouldn’t be surprised if Andy actually met him, but it would be more likely in a school or university rather than an auto rickshaw in Delhi.
I am sure the guy he met is the president look alike guy, by looking at the pictures of the man himself.
Cheers
Hari
The Poll has been taken down now and it seems that 70% of you are sure it was him, 1 of you thinks it's a look-a-like and 4 of you ARE actually Abdul Kalam, the President of India
Apparently I'm gay
I'm really rather partial to Ballet and this is the third I've been to in as many weeks, which would be unthinkable if I were still in the UK, for reasons of time and money, so that's yet another reason why living here has been so good to me.
Anyway, when I told the dude I was going to the ballet rather than watching rugby which I'm not remotely interested in, he said what you'd expect him to say...
"Going to the ballet?! You must be a bender mate"
Well I'm still tryin to work out why, going to see a show full of FIT girls with perfect bodies dancing is more gay than going to a pub full of drunks and watching 22 muscly hairy men beat each other up.
Any ideas?
Kleptomania
I get them out the dustbins.
Up until that point, they were both convinced that I walk right into perfumeries and nick them, but tonight when I walked in with an armful of lever arch files in mint condition at 11PM they realised I wasn't joking.
I just happened to see that a dustbin in the high street was overflowing with green ringbinders so I emptied them out and took them home as the St. Patrick's day revellers streamed past. Just to distract attention from the fact I was bin-raiding I put one of the green folders on my head and pretended it was a St Paddy's outfit. I don't think anyone noticed.
Free folders? Now that's what I call a bargain!
My moustache: Day 4
Here's the latest growth - didn't see the point of updating this every day as you can see...
I'm going to hell
Phwoar, I thought, looking them up and down.
Then the door opened, they got out and said
"Hi Andy."
Guh!!!!
"Oh by the way, we're in year 13, you don't teach us."
My balls felt like they were up in my mouth.
They strolled off in the opposite direction to go shopping. I went straight to hell.
I couldn't resist any longer
Blog output set to soar to unforseen levels as of next week, after these pesky reports are in
Dosa Boys Insider: Nick makes it onto the new Rickshaw Run site
Nick's head has made it into the new Rickshaw Run site. And that photo was taken by yours truly! Yay!
Oh my god new rickshaw run announced...
The new run goes from Calcutta through the Himalayas and ends up in god knows where...
Any bloggers and photographers want to take it on? Looks like the Dosa Boys ride again (but with one less member as you'll see on day 8..)
My Bread Dilllllema: Bread discussion in class
So tomorrow I'm taking it in to work and some of the kids are going to be bringing in frames so we can house a slice or two around the lab and I'm going to leave them up there until they decay.
...if they decay...
The kids are already thinking of cool names, which they will be posting on Andy's Physics site
My favourite so far is Fluffysquish.
Shout outs to the new regulars and a sly trackback too...
Anyway I'd just like to say a big HELLLOOOO! to some new readers I've noticed coming through from Muffins site. Thanks for the link and I'll get back to writing something funny just as soon as I've found my way into your trackbacks by doing >>>this<<<
ah one last thing I'd like to say before I end this post...
My moustache: Day 1
My closest friends will know that no matter how long I go without shaving my moustache never seems to get longer than about half a centimetre.
For years I've been trying to grow a wise old Chinaman moustache and beard set, but to no avail perhaps due to a lack of wisdom, or maybe just the incorrect balance of hormones.
Some people however do not believe that I go for literally WEEKS without shaving so I thought I'd start keeping a diary of the Adventures of Andy's Moustache on here to show you all that it is indeed possible for me to go for weeks without shaving and develop absolutely bugger all on my lip.
So here we are, Me and Moustache close-up with about 3 weeks worth of growth.
After this pic was taken I went looking for my razor. Thing is that it's been so bloody long since I had to use it that I didn't even know where I had put it. I've had razors go rusty in the time it takes me between shaves.
and here we are 2 minutes later with a clean shave and a dirty great spot.
So follow the adventures of my moustache right here on mischief as it grows, probably saying it's first sentence, learning to crawl, childhood and perhaps even puberty until the final curtain where I chop it off again in about a months time.
Apologies in advance for any visible bogeys, nasal hair or old dried up ravioli...
Dodging bullets
With the wonders of the interweb at my fingertips and through this magnificent blogger thing I've arranged a possible meet with Sassycatalina
As you can see, I've got my protection ready (not THAT kind of protection I'd better mention just in case he's reading...) in case the father is hiding out on a rooftop with a sniper rifle...
Come on mischief, do try to keep up!
I had absolutely no idea what he was on about and just assumed that he had lost his mind. I have to start reading my own blog!
My bread dillema: Week 6
...then I realised I just hadn't cleaned my glasses for a while.
Yuck!
So the bread is still bloody identical to the day I bought it and still soft to the touch like a large afro puff. I think it's time we gave him/her a name.
Any suggestions...?
Everyone get down! He's gonna blow!
As you can see, I personally haven't got the guts to post myself, so I got mini-Andy to post for me. I just can't take another beating...
Tellytubbies Tank, China
I just dug this up from my China photos and it cracked me up again.
I was browsing the shelves of a shop in Songpan and saw this. They had a Tellytubbies sweet container complete with childrens sweeties.
...shaped like a tank with Tinky-Winky's head on it!!
As the Red Army like to say...
CATCH EM YOUNG!
Dosa Boys Insider: day 6
www.dosaboys.blogspot.com
Blood
Did I kill someone?
New reader alert and a dare
Not a bad blog and, noticing that she was looking for a place in Spain I thought I'd put a comment on her blog to try and help her out as I'd just moved in and had found gettin a place in Madrid rather easy.
Next thing you know her dad had bitten my arse off! First time that's ever happened I tell ya!
So regulars, Foss, Pony, Tora can you all go over there and post a comment on her blog http://sassycatalina.blogspot.com/ - it's a bit like playin that game where you try and grab the cheese off a live mousetrap without gettin yer fingers clamped in!
Post comments and watch him blow!
Dang! Blog newsflash!
He came out of his room, and said "I hear you've got a new phone"
Flippin eck!
Somebody actually READS my blog! Woah...
Spanish Lessons
The Alphabet
I am a Japanese (female) secretary
I am interested in going to the museum
and as you can imagine I'm still a disaster with the ladies.
So last night I was chatting to Jesus, the bloody funny Spanish nurse and I learnt the phrase every needs to know.
"I shit on..."
This phrase, "May car when..." (I don't know how to spell it) can be used with virtually any noun, concrete or abstract but is usually used with your mother/the government/the Queen of England (yes the Spanish love a nice shit on the Queen!) and more abstractly "God" and "The sea"
The last two are surprisingly popular expressions here in Spain.
So altogether now...
"May car when God!"
Wicked! That should get me banned in Kuwait...
Naturist Massage search result
Boiling water with gas
Hopefully one day someone will come home and see the overboiled kettle and the smouldering remains of our kitchen, take pity on me and buy me an electric kettle
Dosa Boys Insider: New poll in the sidebar
However, one thing was said that I think really was completely wrong and seemed to reflect a far deeper issue. The problem I'm having now is that to understand what happened next in day 8 properly you need to know what was said.
But if I say what was said then that person will end up absolutely fucked.
Should what happens in the rickshaw stay in the rickshaw? I believe it shouldn't because people should ALWAYS be responsible for their actions. If you say something like that and there's a blogger in the back that you know is writing about the trip and you KNOW that I blog about EVERYTHING then you should fucking well watch your tongue.
And I'm not white either...
You know what I'm talkin about Dosa Boys. The Dosa Boy that I've been emailing a lot recently has nothing to worry about. The other one though may well have problems coming up, that he brought on himself.
Help me out - vote for what you want to see in the poll in the sidebar.
Dosa Boys Insider: Writing resumed
Which leaves only Nick without the full set! I've sent them down south for him though.
So day 6 here we come!
Lhasa - The Individual Travel Department
Anyone up for a holiday?
Why not go to the Individual Travel Department of TITS in Lhasa, Tibet..
mini-Andy finds the debris
Luckily mini-Andy was around at the time.
He could do nothing to repair the phone but least he put a smile on my face!
mini-Andy does not endorse products, broken or otherwise...
If you can be bothered...
The meetup invite reads,
"Informal meetup on Friday for anyone who is around. When you RSVP it would be great if you could let me know planned arrival time so I'm not sitting like a pudding by myself for too long!"
...and in true procrastinators fashion, so far 2 people have confirmed, 2 people have said they can't make it and 11 say they might be able to, just so as they can change their minds on the day and not bother comin'.
Oh shit.
I was supposed to post this 3 days ago. Oh bollocks. I just couldn't be bothered at the time.
Shit shit shit.
I hate Kuwait.
This is what happens when a phone falls out of your pocket on a rollercoaster
I was out with 5 Norweigians at an amusement park when the rollercoaster went upside down.
When we got off one of them said
"I think I saw your phone fall out"
I said, "Cool did it fly past your head?"
He said
"No it just went straight down vertically"
I guess he had a point.
Drugs. The myth exploded
I personally have never had any problem getting drugs in Thamesmead. It's really easy to get drugs any time of the night or day on almost any street corner and they're quite good value too.
Also the rumour that the drug problem is getting worse is also a gross exageration and I would like to point out to anyone visiting my home town that drugs are now cheaper and easier to get hold of than they have been at any time in history.
They are so simple to obtain that even children can buy them and often sell them too and they are also freely available at Belmarsh, our local prison.
Good. Glad I got that off my chest.
