Mustachio

Bloody hell I haven't shaved since March the 13th, which means that officially it was Mr Moustaches birthday yesterday when I took this photo!

Happy Birthday Mr Moustache!

2 months 1 day old and about 1cm long in places.

Yippee!! Someone finally noticed my facial hair!

I've been growing it for a month and finally a kid in the lower school says something in Spanish to me while rubbing his Index finger over his top lip and pointing at me.

I presume he said "Cor blimey you look like a LION" but given that he followed that up in English with "You need a shave, Andy" I think that that's fairly unlikely.

My moustache Month 1 and a bit

I was told the other day what whiskers are for on cats.

Apparently a cat's whiskers is exactly the width of their bodies so if you cut the whiskers off a cat they will get stuck when they go through gaps like fences.

Combined with my fence-squeezing antics, that explains why my moustache hasn't grown at all in a month!

More proof that I am a lion!

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!

Moustache and pies

The moustache area is starting to get a little hirsuite (pics later) as I haven't shaved since I said I was gonna start nurturing tache-canopy (March 13)

It must be at LEAST half a centimentre in length after a months growth!

I was thinkin about this and my skininess today and it dawned on me that, as a Yellow brother, my lack of insulation and facial shrubbery was actually an indication that I am both weak and stupid.

Let me explain...

Firstly, it is clear from watching such educational videos as Drunken Master with Jackie Chan, or Fu Manchu that if you are yellow and in possession of facial hair, then you are immediately bestowed with great wisdom.

Examples of bearded and wise Yellow Brothers in history include Confucious, the Father of Chinese philosophy



Lao-Tzu, the Father of Taoism



and Lee Yan Ho the father of Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon



Then comes the fatness issue.

It seems that, if you want to be a tough Yellow brother that no-one will mess with you need to have a few pounds of noodle-induced fat around your ass. Evidence of this can be seen clearly by looking at Sammo Hung



and various sumo wrestlers



So from this evidence I come to the following conclusions..

1) Bad Hair = Wisdom
2) Obesity = Strength

So I guess that technically, I aspire to be fat and hairy. This isn't normal is it...

Pass me another pie Jools...

My Moustache - Day 12

See? No growth since day 4!

My moustache: Day 4

Here's the latest growth - didn't see the point of updating this every day as you can see...

My moustache: Day 1

My closest friends will know that no matter how long I go without shaving my moustache never seems to get longer than about half a centimetre.

For years I've been trying to grow a wise old Chinaman moustache and beard set, but to no avail perhaps due to a lack of wisdom, or maybe just the incorrect balance of hormones.

Some people however do not believe that I go for literally WEEKS without shaving so I thought I'd start keeping a diary of the Adventures of Andy's Moustache on here to show you all that it is indeed possible for me to go for weeks without shaving and develop absolutely bugger all on my lip.

So here we are, Me and Moustache close-up with about 3 weeks worth of growth.



After this pic was taken I went looking for my razor. Thing is that it's been so bloody long since I had to use it that I didn't even know where I had put it. I've had razors go rusty in the time it takes me between shaves.

and here we are 2 minutes later with a clean shave and a dirty great spot.



So follow the adventures of my moustache right here on mischief as it grows, probably saying it's first sentence, learning to crawl, childhood and perhaps even puberty until the final curtain where I chop it off again in about a months time.

Apologies in advance for any visible bogeys, nasal hair or old dried up ravioli...