Moustache and pies

The moustache area is starting to get a little hirsuite (pics later) as I haven't shaved since I said I was gonna start nurturing tache-canopy (March 13)

It must be at LEAST half a centimentre in length after a months growth!

I was thinkin about this and my skininess today and it dawned on me that, as a Yellow brother, my lack of insulation and facial shrubbery was actually an indication that I am both weak and stupid.

Let me explain...

Firstly, it is clear from watching such educational videos as Drunken Master with Jackie Chan, or Fu Manchu that if you are yellow and in possession of facial hair, then you are immediately bestowed with great wisdom.

Examples of bearded and wise Yellow Brothers in history include Confucious, the Father of Chinese philosophy

Lao-Tzu, the Father of Taoism

and Lee Yan Ho the father of Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon

Then comes the fatness issue.

It seems that, if you want to be a tough Yellow brother that no-one will mess with you need to have a few pounds of noodle-induced fat around your ass. Evidence of this can be seen clearly by looking at Sammo Hung

and various sumo wrestlers

So from this evidence I come to the following conclusions..

1) Bad Hair = Wisdom
2) Obesity = Strength

So I guess that technically, I aspire to be fat and hairy. This isn't normal is it...

Pass me another pie Jools...
blog comments powered by Disqus