Chinese Chess

I'm off to Granada tonight with the three flatmates, Gonzo, Claudinho and The Wife.

With a 6 hour bus ride looming with The Wife I decided it was best to buy a chess set. As the cheapest bric-a-brac stores here are run by the Chinese I got myself down to a Chinese shop to buy a chess set for 2 Euros 50.

When I got home it and opened it, lo and behold it had one set of black pieces and...

...another set of black pieces!

I've set the board up and as white always goes first I'm still waiting for Gonzo to take his turn. We could be here for some time...

CFCs and the Ozone Layer?!

Could someone please tell me why, in the middle of the unit entitled "Rollercoasters and Relativity" in the new EDEXCEL 360 Syllabus, the publishers have put a worksheet about CFCs and the Ozone Layer?!

Specifically they've put the worksheet in the folder to correspond to the page entitled "Einstein and Relativity"

I've tried to make some connection here between the two concepts but no I can't see any thread that these two things. Anyone else see it?

God this course could have been better written by a bunch of monkeys. What retard was put in charge of this shit anyway?!

If you haven't already, make sure you get yourself over to the Open Letter to AQA by Wellington Grey and Retrospectacle, which is a strangely entertaining neuroscience blog by this fit bird. Phwoar!

Denmark vs Spain

I was in the pub the other day in Madrid watching the superb weekend of sport with Gonzo and Jose and the new guy Claudino (that's his pet name for his weiner and we've kinda forgotten his real name) the new Brazilian dude, when Denmark scored a goal.

"YES!" I shouted out, before looking around and remembering I was in Spain.

"I meant erm...NO!"

At least I still have one testicle that hasn't been shoved down my throat.

The next big adventure

As always when I'm feeling a little unsettled, I've been scouting around for my next adventure, daydreaming and sending out applications for silly international jaunts.

The latest one, via Gumtree as usual was for an extreme sailing partner and reads as follows

Hi I'm looking for a funky person for an epic journey in the spring, (Around Easter.)

Travelling on my Racing yacht to Portugal - Azores - Canaries - Caribbean. Male, 36 Looking for a crew member to share experience - experience not necessary in which case I'll put you through a harsh training regime which will include feeding you to the sharks and seeing if you can still get back on board and steer the boat without the odd arm or leg.

You must be male or female(!) fit, strong, non-smoker, carnivore, have good spatial awareness (so you don't bash your head on things etc. - Clumsy people on boats are a disaster! . It'll be much more a Team Effort than a Crew/captain relationship - I'm a relaxed, down to earth person, very patient and easy to get on with with a positive attitude!

Basically, It's a racing yacht and the boat is small but strong and capable with loads of character- the waves are big so no wooses or whingers need bother applying - you will be expected to contribute to costs and to hang on for dear life!
Please email me - I will request a cv from you to include photo, vitalstatistics and any skills/experience that you might have.
Cheers!


Who would I be to turn down an offer like that! Let's not let the fact that I can't swim further than 5 metres, that I get violently seasick and my knowledge of geography is pretty sketchy be an obstacle now shall we.

My response:

Hiya

My name's Andy and I just saw your ad on Gumtree for a racing partner in Easter. I'd love to be a part of this adventure even though I am a 7 and half stone weakling, I've never been sailing before in my life and I can hardly swim. Saying all that though I am up for anything and would happily learn and provide the crap jokes to keep us going as we whip around the coastlines of the countries mentioned.

Currently resident in Madrid, my CV includes being part of a team that drove a rickshaw across India in January (www.dosaboys.blogspot.com) and stints in Romania and Kuwait teaching (I'm a teacher you see) as well as 3 months living in Ghana, so I'm pretty open to suggestion.

Anyway, I imagine that I don't really fit the bill in any way, shape or form but if you get desperate and need someone who's not afraid of the high seas (well not much anyway) who'll be up for anything then give me a shout. Best of luck with the trip if you do find someone else more suited to the whole thing and if not, well I'll see you there...

Andy
www.andytgeezer.com


He seems like a pretty good sport this dude and he replied pretty quickly and let me down gently

Hi Andy!
Thanks for your email!
I think I'm gonna have to say no!
I'm really needing someone who can lift engines with a single hand and not throw up in the 4 metre waves whilst making a nice cup of tea whilst we CROSS THE ATLANTIC OCEAN FOR 3 WEEKS!
Thanks anyway!
Cheers
Gray


I think it was the fact that I managed to miss out the small point about him crossing the Atlantic that let me down this time...

Anyway, among the other adventures I have lined up are a trip to Vietnam and possibly a hop skip and jump to Rajasthan if it all goes horribly wrong here.

Aiming low or how I came to hate teaching today

This is a rant. Sorry but sometimes I have to get things off my chest and this is one of those times.

There's not many things that wind me up but when it comes to teaching I find that, like in many jobs, decisions that affect everyone tend to be made by morons.

In this respect I am referring specifically to the new GCSE syllabus and even more specifically to the Edexcel 360 shite that I presently have to teach.

Over successive years pupils and teachers have had to put up with the accusation that GCSEs are being dumbed down and, for the most part this has been true but not quite so blatant.

It seems that this time though, edexcel have pre-empted this accusation and decided that if people were to accuse them of dumbing down the GCSE anyway they may as well go ahead and do it anyway. There has been no pretence of keeping the new science sylabus in any challenging.

As a result, these days I find myself teaching a science course that has virtually no content in it whatsoever, with very little for me or the pupils to get their teeth into.

In their infinite wisdom, the bods at Edexcel have decided that the youth of today are quite incapable of engaging with abstract concepts and have reacted by pulling out anything that does not have a modern-day obvious context.

Their approach is based on the idea that the pupils need to have context laid out first, then have the science explained later.

Much later.

So cue a lot of trite questioning on mobile phones and text messages (Real example question from the textbook - "How many text messages were sent in the UK in 2004?" - WHAT is the learning point of this question!?) which is somehow supposed to link in to the topic of electric current, resistance and magnetic induction of current.

The link is tenuous to say the least.

I am all for context but this new approach with prescribed context and seemingly unrelated content is not going to do anyone any good.

It is surely up to the teacher to define the context that the content relates to so that pupils can then apply their knowledge of the science to any context at all. In this sense abstract knowledge is surely a much better tool than vague contextual understanding of a single application.

To test pupils on a single application of a scientific principle is to ask them to study the narrowest area of a wider field of knowledge, for which they will end up knowing very little about very little.

And further to this, the 360 syllabus has taken out pretty much every decent topic with good practicals in. In with the dross about texting and out with the magnificent unit on pressure and transformers.

The bright kids have subsequently lost interest because they can see how easy this whole thing is and because it's totally dull and the weaker kids now have the impression that science is an easy option. Worse still, a lot of people I have spoken to who have to teach this drivel find themselves turned off by it too, myself included.

Are we really creating science access for all here? I don't think so.

If this really is the future of science teaching at GCSE, it is a future that I can't see myself heavily involved in. Teaching double page spreads with no content in at all is embarrassing, and really lets our pupils down. We are supposed to think that they are capable of rising to challenges set by the examining bodies, but Edexcel have effectively taken away any form of challenge.

As teachers we're supposed to inspire and excite, but the 360 science course has very few elements of inspiration and excitement and is so prescriptive and stifling by it's use of context that there is little room to introduce our own excitement.

This course is a disaster and I think that by the time Edexcel finally stand up and admit they have made a serious error of judgement, many GCSE students will have already lost interest in science and, if my viewpoint is shared by as many people as I think it is, they will have been responsible for no small amount of teachers leaving the profession too.

One Semester of Spanish Love Song



Oh man this is SO like my alphabet experience

The new look



Haven't bought a new pair of specs since Kuwait in 2004.

Whatchu think?

Smash!

Went to a wii party yesterday with some pals and at the end of that we went clubbing in Madrid. On the metro on the way in someone knocked me on the back of the head and my glasses popped off and the glass in the left eye smashed.

So this morning I got up and wanted to get started on some work only to find that I has a hangover and couldn't bloody see anything.

Luckily for me HK is a fluent Spanish speaker and knows Madrid really well, so I dropped by this morning. Turns out that she has a spare pair of specs that her mum left behind so I tried them on.

Turns out that her mum has the same strength left eye as my one and her right eye is pretty normal. Only one thing for it then...





ATurns out that most shops are lsthough most shops are closed on Sundays, turns out it was my lucky day cos on the first Sunday of every month some shops decide to open and the optician was open so we went off and bought a new pair of eyes.



Serving suggestion

I just went out to buy some rice in Carrefour earlier and while browsing through the aisles I couldn't help noticing some of the serving suggestions on the packets.

I bought this packet of rice



As you can see, it is suggested that if you have the Taj Mahal handy it just tastes a helluva lot better.