The next big adventure

As always when I'm feeling a little unsettled, I've been scouting around for my next adventure, daydreaming and sending out applications for silly international jaunts.

The latest one, via Gumtree as usual was for an extreme sailing partner and reads as follows

Hi I'm looking for a funky person for an epic journey in the spring, (Around Easter.)

Travelling on my Racing yacht to Portugal - Azores - Canaries - Caribbean. Male, 36 Looking for a crew member to share experience - experience not necessary in which case I'll put you through a harsh training regime which will include feeding you to the sharks and seeing if you can still get back on board and steer the boat without the odd arm or leg.

You must be male or female(!) fit, strong, non-smoker, carnivore, have good spatial awareness (so you don't bash your head on things etc. - Clumsy people on boats are a disaster! . It'll be much more a Team Effort than a Crew/captain relationship - I'm a relaxed, down to earth person, very patient and easy to get on with with a positive attitude!

Basically, It's a racing yacht and the boat is small but strong and capable with loads of character- the waves are big so no wooses or whingers need bother applying - you will be expected to contribute to costs and to hang on for dear life!
Please email me - I will request a cv from you to include photo, vitalstatistics and any skills/experience that you might have.

Who would I be to turn down an offer like that! Let's not let the fact that I can't swim further than 5 metres, that I get violently seasick and my knowledge of geography is pretty sketchy be an obstacle now shall we.

My response:


My name's Andy and I just saw your ad on Gumtree for a racing partner in Easter. I'd love to be a part of this adventure even though I am a 7 and half stone weakling, I've never been sailing before in my life and I can hardly swim. Saying all that though I am up for anything and would happily learn and provide the crap jokes to keep us going as we whip around the coastlines of the countries mentioned.

Currently resident in Madrid, my CV includes being part of a team that drove a rickshaw across India in January ( and stints in Romania and Kuwait teaching (I'm a teacher you see) as well as 3 months living in Ghana, so I'm pretty open to suggestion.

Anyway, I imagine that I don't really fit the bill in any way, shape or form but if you get desperate and need someone who's not afraid of the high seas (well not much anyway) who'll be up for anything then give me a shout. Best of luck with the trip if you do find someone else more suited to the whole thing and if not, well I'll see you there...


He seems like a pretty good sport this dude and he replied pretty quickly and let me down gently

Hi Andy!
Thanks for your email!
I think I'm gonna have to say no!
I'm really needing someone who can lift engines with a single hand and not throw up in the 4 metre waves whilst making a nice cup of tea whilst we CROSS THE ATLANTIC OCEAN FOR 3 WEEKS!
Thanks anyway!

I think it was the fact that I managed to miss out the small point about him crossing the Atlantic that let me down this time...

Anyway, among the other adventures I have lined up are a trip to Vietnam and possibly a hop skip and jump to Rajasthan if it all goes horribly wrong here.
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