Still a bum, but a bum with a job!

I had an interview today. I've waited nearly 2 months for something decent to come along that didn't involve gettin my head kicked in every day and teaching chavs, and today a reasonable-sounding position in a school I'd never heard of before came up so I headed down there.

All mornin my piss had been forking, ya know what I mean, where it just goes out in two sprays and neither of em hit the bowl. Usually when piss forks in the morning that's a bad sign for the rest of the day. I think Confucious said that.

The trip to that remote part of the world this morning took nearly 4 hours and I'd managed to procrastinate planning the show lesson til the train journey (maybe I need to join the group) and on the way there I realised I had very few decent resources to teach with, I didn't know the subject and I was badly dressed. So I texted up C++ and asked him for some life-saving information by text around which I managed to plan the entire lesson around on the way.

To congratulate myself on doing such a great job I took myself to the train toilet for a celebratory slash and proceeded to piss all the way up my inside leg. With a lesson plan that was knocked up in 10 minutes and a dripping, smelly legfull of pee I was convinced this was going to be a bad day.

Obviously having just planned my lesson on the train like a daft git, my worksheets were pretty well, ya know, singular, and lo and behold the photocopier at the school chose today to break down. The computer then refused to recognise my memory stick and the mouse didn't work.


But somehow I done it. Maybe it's cos the urine had dried up, but they didn't notice my clumsy impromptu maths cock up on the board (I'm crap at spontaneous calculations) or maybe I really am the last physics teacher left in the country.

But I got the job.


Missed the flashmob though. Did anyone else make it?
blog comments powered by Disqus