Finger on the pulse

I was just checking to see if I was alive tonight against the Year 7 biology checklist for life. Those of you who recall your secondary Biology lessons will remember that to be alive you need to fulfill conditions, which take the acronym MRSGREN.

M stands for Movement and I'm pretty sure that having moved halfway around the world in the last 5 years I can safely tick that box.

R is all about Respiration and I checked my breathing and am pretty sure that I qualify for that too.

S stands for Sensitivity. I cried when McCauley Culkin died in My Girl so I guess that makes me sensitive right? Or a pooftah.

So far so good.

G for Growth and Mr Moustache is slow-moving proof of this. Good old Mr Moustache. I didn't have the heart to give him the chop this weekend.

The next R stands for Reproduction.

Oh bollocks.

Who came up with this bloody list anyway?!

Half-dead mischief
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