India in recall - that's when the shit hit my shoes

I went to India and Nepal in the summer of 2001 and when I came back I had a bunch of stories to tell. Other than nearly gettin killed by a commmunist and a donkey in the mountains (more of which later no doubt) one of the standout incidents was in a subway in Delhi.

I was never really a big fan of Delhi, and I will tell anyone who asks that the best thing about that place is the train out. It's hectic, dirty and smelly but full of life and character(s)

On the plane over I had read about some scams and there was one that I thought was so out there it was never gonna happen to me. As I walked through the subway in New Delhi sure as hell it went down. Mindin my own business and lokoin at the street stalls I noticed an Indian guy pointing excitedly down at my trainers. Saying something like "Shit shit sir" I decided that he thought my trainers were a bit shit. Havin no sense of fashion pride at all made me quite happy actually that the locals thought my footwear was shit.

But he persisted. And lo and behold when I looked down at my trainers they were actually covered, on the top surface in dog shit.

"Strange" I thought. "I can't remember at any point having dragged my foot through a pile of dog shit" I'm sure I would have remembered that event.

"Sir you appear to have shit on your shoe. I think you must have stepped in some" said my eager new walking partner. I wasn't convinced. I have travelled the world and at no time have I ever been known to walk with my heels pointing upwards.

Now this left me with the unenviable task of having to get this offensive material off my suede Ellese. But whatdyaknow - my little man volunteered to clean it off at a price I recall translated to about £60. That was nice of him.

To this day, the mind still boggles that there are countries out there were you can earn a living lobbing shit at peoples shoes and offering politely to clean it up. If I'd known that perhaps I wouldn't have taken up teaching. Who knows....
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