If someone doesn't give me a job soon I will go on hunger strike

the title of this piece pays homage to Matt by which I mean I was so lacking in inspiration that I nicked it direct from his fabulous blog, because I found it so fitting with my current position.

Unemployed with a physics degree and hence unemployable, it's a whole barrel of laughs I can tell you. But I'm not gonna sit around and mope all day that I haven't been accepted to suck cock in a corporation - hell no! Cos that just wouldn't make sense now would it?

Instead I have been hard at work applying for loads of fuckin crazy shit and as a result I am gonna be on tele among other things. I'm going in filming on wednesday.

With reference to that last post about my birthday, I had a chat with carl today and, tryin to explain to him that I don't give a damn about my birthday and that I am doin something for everyone else rather than myself he says I need landmarks and milestones to look forward to. But I gotta raise this question in answer to that.

What exactly is a landmark to you? I mean what exactly do you see as important enough to look back on, great parties or doing something that really makes a difference that you can be proud of?

Well I know where I stand and I don't really see this as a big deal. It's just a good stick to beat my mates into seeing me, who may otherwise not make the effort. I know that my stance on this issue seems perhaps a little militant but I am merely makin a point. This is not an important event. You don't have to come to London and I'd rather you just rang me and arranged a time to meet individually because real relationships are much too difficult to forge in the cold atmosphere of a forced celebration, but are much easier in the warmth of a one to one meet.

For me the main landmark on the horizon is not really my birthday or even surviving Valentines day without topping myself (more of which later) but my impending TV appearance. Yeah I'm gonna be on tele, and to celebrate, I'm thinkin of holdin the first of many (hopefully) "Andys on TV" parties, which will be round in my tiny council flat where I live with my nan. Attendance is by invite only as my nan and aunt will have to calculate how much homemade vietnamese food to make and we'll all sit around drinkin beer and eatin then cheer when I come on. And that's the crux of it really.

Now that's what I call a landmark!


Eden - first one's in the post now. Should be there by the end of the week

Ants - Damn I was shit this weekend! I played like two pieces of fresh turd and I promise I'm normally fitter than that I swear!

Pete - mmmmm in my nice warm house here with a hot mug of tea, roaring fire. mmmm yeah much better than freezin my nuts off in Beijing. (Yeah right...)

Slit - Forget Luis Figo.....It's Brian McBride!!!!!

Tam - Yeah your brit cousins are all out of their minds. Pete is freezin his bollox off and thinks it's funny, I'm gonna be on tele catchin frogs in a net and Hieu has been seen about town wearing a swastika. No wonder our american cousins never come over...

Taz - Headbutt! Wicked!

Matthew Kelly - You are a sick pervert

The people at Angel HR - You are a bunch of wankers!

Lionel - Martinique...mmm sounds good. See you soon mate

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