Attack on the Clones

I guess by now you've all seen "Attack of the Clones". Crap wasn't it? Well, step right up and face the music guys because this is your life. And I am Yoda.

To all you clones working for Major multinational corporations around the world, I'd just like to say, "Wakey wakey - it's time to actually do some work for the money that you are taking from poor people". In fact I feel a little sorry for you all, as I know how "stressful" your jobs can be you Prozac(tm)-popping motherfuckers so I've written you a little song to cheer you up. You may like to sing it out loud in the office.

The rest of this column is dedicated to y'all...

Yawncorp Employees! Look Around you what do you see?
"Rows of bored people who look just like me
rows of people sitting there wastin away
nine to fuckin five same as every day
Just like me they want to break away
mortgage by the balls so they gotta stay
they're safe now in their cell safely locked away
everybody here got bills to pay
deals to make, hands to shake, hearts to break, pills to take, can't be late..."

"But it aint Easy" I hear you say
Bullshit motherfucka, you here to stay
Too fraid to play, too scared to slay
you wanna live to fight for another day
While you waste away bitch, you better pray
that you're gonna start livin fore you pass away
Cos before you know, you'll be dead and gone
you take nothin way bitch, cept what you got on
A longer life aint a better life
if you live by the knife then you die by the knife
Sure you'll sleep when you're dead
but when you sleep you're snoring
bit like readin reports that are fuckin borin

So you better quit complainin Bitch and start pursuin
quit remainin in that shit you're doin
Time to move on, time to make a stand
Time to rip it up, time to be a Man
Time to run away to a foreign land
smoke trees, fuck girls in the sun and sand
Drop all this shit, fuckin start a band
top up your tan, cross the world in a van
fuck that, sell dope as an ice cream man
end up in jail with the Ku Klux Klan

or just file reports for the big grey man
take home your pay, honest citizen
to just waste away

Andy - 2002

…Yoda says, Kiss my arse, you can

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