The first rule of teaching

Although we don't admit it, we teachers all dream of looking damn cool in the eyes of our students and feeling superior.

My coolest moment in teaching happened a few years ago. I was teaching a lesson and had to go and write something on the board. On the way from the back of the class to the whiteboard I saw that one of the kids had a ruler hanging over the edge of the table so as I walked by I gave it a quick smack.

As I carried on walking it flew up and made an arc over my head then, as in a dream it flew into my field of vision and I instinctively caught it. It felt like scoring the winning goal in the FA Cup final but somehow although I was freaking out inside I managed to keep it together, and casually walked up to the board wrote something and deliberately underlined it.

When I turned around, the class was sat there, every single pupil with slack bottom jaws. One kid just sighed

"Sir you are just *SOOOOOOOO* cool..."

Yeah. Damn.

For the rest of the lesson the kids just stared in wide-eyed awe at me and I felt like David Beckham and Paris Hilton's bastard lovechild.

Anyway, never one to rest on my laurels, I went back over to the kids desk and put his ruler back on the table, obviously leaving it half hanging off the edge.

Thinking up some excuse to write something on the board, I casually strolled to the front of the room. As you can imagine, every eye on the class was on me, so when I went for the ruler you could taste the expectation.

Down went the hand.

There was a clatter as the boys pencil case dropped off the edge, pens and pencils flying everywhere while his ruler flew up and smacked me in the back of the head.

"...and we all thought you were the coolest teacher in the world before Sir"

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