The story of Sally500

I've been meaning to post this one for a while, but I know it will result in me getting my arse kicked. I've been holding this one back for a while but I couldn't resist any longer. Even HE doesn't know about it.

So, working on the assumption that no-one actually reads my blog, except Andrew Hoang, looking to see if I've slagged him off again and Caz, who I've already told this story too, I'm gonna reveal today why my second email address is called Sally500.

A few years back, 1998at school Me, Pete and Rob used to hang out. We were geeky, still are really, Pete into Star Trek, me into comics and Rob into Photography and most other things. It was a good time and we were good friends at school.

Come 1998, we headed off in our different directions. Peter went to university, Rob went to another uni and I took a year off.

I working mainly for Natwest. Rob decided to go straight in and get stuck into uni and disappeared off the face of the Earth.

Peter announced that he had no intention of making new friends at uni cos he would just continue to hang out with his old mates.

After a few months it started to become clear that this wasn't going to work.

I was working all day, then when I got home Pete would ring me. At first it was quite cool, but it niggled that, he was going to university and not talking to anyone, going straight home and watching Star Trek and ringing me. But I thought, hell that's what it was like at school, this is what he's like, he's never gonna change.

After a few months, this started to actually interfere with my life. Pete was calling every evening. I was coming home tired or drunk after work and all I'd want to do is sit there with a good comic and veg.

Soon, he was ringing 3 times a day, at home and at work and I thought, enough is enough. After skirting the issue, asking him directly to get out there and go make some friends and hinting that maybe he should be at uni more, I snapped and gave it to him straight.

Basically I told him to sod off and not ring me ever again.

I'm not a total bastard honestly, I just wanted him to go out and make the most of his university years. Yeah alright I wanted him off my back too, but more importantly he was wasting his fresher year.

After a few weeks I started to wonder. Had I been too harsh? I stuck to my guns.

Then I started to wonder if he WAS actually going out and getting a life. So I tried to think how I could track him, ya know, without throwing him a line or giving him a chance to fall back into bad habits and I came up with this idea on the train which made me laugh out loud.

When I got home that day I opened an email account on altavista, which has sadly expired now.

Remember those were the days when, if you got an email from a mystery girl you thought it was rather nice not like now where you'd just sling it in the junk.

"Hi Peter" went my first email, "I've seen you around **** University and I think you're rather nice. Just thought I'd say hello by email cos I'm really shy, and haven't got the courage to talk to you in person, but I'm watching you.

Love Sally Gaafgnfgjakf"

Unbelievably he replied!

Soon, like any man would, he wanted to do the gentlemanly thing and coax her out of her shell, no doubt for his own disgusting carnal purposes.

He started to report back with what he had done that day etc etc. Mission accomplished!

Soon, he wanted to meet "her" and she talked him into going to a number of bars and coffee shops around town. Determined to force this shrinking violet to bloom, Peter dutifully went to most of these meets and reported back his disappointment that Sally had not been forthcoming.

Strange that given that she didn't exist.

As time went on, he started to go to bars anyway and started to talk to people. I like to think that he did so, looking for Sally. In doing so Peter started to make real friends, reported back and the communications soon dried up.

The final email was an ultimatum, telling Sally to finally reveal herself or forever lose him! Sally replied with a time and place, and Pete made his last coffee shop trek before forever breaking contact.

I saw him a few years later and asked what happened after that day.

Apparently, some psycho bitch started stalking him. I wouldn't know anything about that would I?

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