Andy wins the canadian exchange lottery

evenin bitches

Just been out on the town (that is Vancouver town to those of you not already in the know) and have a few things to report.

1/ It's wet
2/ It's cold

So no more smug california e-mails from me ever again you'll be pleased to hear as I walk through the town soaked to the bone feeling like I'm back home again.

What I have found though, to this towns credit is that this country is pretty damn cheap. With the mighty pound coming in at a rip-roaring 2.4 dollars (Yes I did dance around in the bank and sing when they told me the exchange rate - those crazy british) and everything being a damn sight cheaper than in the US anyway I'm living the life of millionaire on the remains of my student loan. Oh happy days.

Yesterday, as soon as I swapped Queen Elizabeth II (British) for Queen Elizabeth II (Canadian) I legged it down to the japanese restaurant elgantly called Samurai in a state of lottery-winning elation and promptly went on to order "everything on the menu with salmon and octopus" and for the first time in my memory actually pushed the bill up into double figures! Stuffed with great japanese food I was disappointed to find I had actually only spent 6 english pounds on conversion but I must say it was one of the finest meals I've had in my life. A true bargain.

Today, still not over the shock of my newfound riches, I strolled off through the perpetual rain down to chinatown where I got promptly lost in a sprawling mass of yellow brothers. Magnificent. So lost was I that I actually went around and around in circles only figuring out that I was retracing my steps because the same drug dealers keep offering me smack every time. I was just contemplating rewarding one of them for his persistence when I finally found my way out of the place.

While there I stumbled across bargain of the century number 2.

I know lots of you geeks, like myself are speccy and occasionally wear contact lenses. As you all know, one a day disposables are expensive, normally a pound a pair, but I found this place here that sells them for a fraction of that. at only 22 dollars a box of thirty with $50 mail in rebate (more of which later) when you buy six boxes, they work out at 90 pairs for a mere $82!!!! That's whata saving of whar? a cool hmmm, 40 quid. Not bad going mister bond.

Obviously down to my last pennies as I am I will probably buy them tomorrow just to spite myself.

On that note though, if any of you want to spite me a little further and take advantage of the cheap rates that other countries have over us brits (yes we are overcharged for everything) and you want some cheap shit just drop me a line and deposit some money in my swiss bank account. I promise I won't run away. honest.

Mail in rebates were explained to me by my new cousin Khiem and go a little something like this. They play on the intrinsic principle that we all know is inherent in all American people - bone-idle laziness. The concept of the mail in rebate is so simple but so effective in this over-rich under-active country and works by reeling the sloth into buying a product with the promise that, by sending in a receipt, you will get some cash back.

Naturally, the yanks do the first as consumerism is a natural impulse in that country, but the second is somewhat more challenging, as actually getting off your arse is an unnatural mode of action in the US.

So they lose money. And they don't care. A legendary ploy!

In a week that has seen me go to a magazine opening in Sunset Boulevard, write poems on a train for a gangsta from crenshaw and cross the border into a country of perpetual rain, I think I can safely say life is good.

On a parting note I would like to just start takin orders for grog and smokes for when I come back. Cos conveniently, when I get off the plame laden with fags and booze, New Years Eve is just around the corner. I don't mind gettin if you don't mind drinkin (and payin) so just get your orders in for the chronic right now on the usual address.

I think I'll make some predictions on orders before I love you and leave you bitches:


Vix - At the rate you and your mum are killing yourselves, I predict you will be wanting some smokes. Name your brand and they're yours.

Hieu - at the rate I'm spendning money I imagine you want nothing at all. I'm still alive aint I!?! I think you should take advantage of these cheap eyes as I know you wear contacts.

C++ - I predict you will get nothing but a duty free smack in the mouth. Just a hunch. Anyway you can get your own as you're leaving the country (mister C is going to South Africa)

Slutty - I predict you may be getting something before I get back. After all even though I'm away I still have my duty

J++ - I predict you will be gettin nothin as well as piss is too bloody heavy
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