And here's one you missed earlier part 7 - Laptop Diary archive 24 December 2002


I know by now that most of you would be used to my antics and not a lot would surprise you any more. I also know that the only thing that is guaranteed to surprise you is if I suddenly, and quite miraculously, got laid.

Well prepare to be surprised.

Alright then, don't. I haven't really got laid, I just thought it was a good start to my column, but I had you going didn't I? Oh come on it isn't that unlikely is it!?!


Alright then, just a quick reminder that the travelling adventurer soon returns with stories galore and the odd present. Some of the above information may be false.

So may some of the following...

  • I am still called Andy
  • I have a long beard
  • I am oversexed and barely able to walk in a straight line
  • I return on the 29th December into Terminal 1 at 10:50 on flight VS10, where I shall procure myself another sickbag
  • I still have full use of all my limbs albeit in a limited capacity
  • I have met a gangster
  • I am floating on a cloud far away in the Andes
  • I have smoked a joint recently
  • I can ski fairly well
  • Despite all the crazy shit that has happened this year, at least one more amazing thing is lined up
  • I've been on TV this year
  • I have actually bought something for someone
  • I am wearing odd socks
  • I watched USA 94 with an Iranian barber
  • I have had a wicked holiday

Maybe some of it's true. Maybe all of it's false. Or maybe you can ask me when I get back.

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