Flyfishing - How NOT to be a hit with the ladies #1

I decided, having read "The Game" by Neil Strauss that if it were possible to write about your multiple successes with women that I was surely an expert at the opposite and that, even though most people have failed with the ladies at some point I failed in funny ways, and it's always worth having a laugh at my expense, so I thought I'd start chronicling the best/worst of the fuck ups right here.

My first memorable fail has got to be The Birdcage, in a club in Leamington Spa. Carl will perhaps never let me live it down.

There I was in this club, and there was a birdcage fully visible to the whole club on the first floor. As you probably know, I'm not too shoddy a dancer and there I was, really rather enjoying the tunes and ignoring everything else as I always tend to do when I dance.

Deciding to take a short break, I headed to the bar and on the way this lovely girl comes up, grabs me by the arm and says,

"You are a WICKED dancer"

I'm thirsty at this point so I say "Yeah I know" before turning around and walking off.

So she grabs me again, looks in my eyes and says

"Where did you learn to move like that?"

to which I reply, "I was just born like this" and walk off for drink again. At this point an alarm bell is ringing in my head. I mean girls don't usually do that sort of thing right?

So I get to the bar, head throbbing from the alarms and Carl says, "So what did the hot girl have to say to you?" quickly followed by "WHAT THE FUCK!?! Why didn't you stick your tongue in her mouth you dumb fuck!?!"

How the hell was I supposed to know!?

Any ideas of what sort of signs may have given this away would be much appreciated. Answers on a postcard especially welcome...