One of the last times I went out in Madrid was with my flatmate the Peruvian Gonzalo.

It was his Mexican coursemates birthday, so we met up in a bar in Santa Ana and hid from the sun under one of the umbrellas (sorry everyone in England I had to write this) and drank much of the night away with other South Americans.

That night was brilliant, I met this Chilean guy whose accent I just couldn't make out at all ("he's talking ENGLISH, Andy" "Oh") and hung out with some really attractive Mexican girls.

At one point, I asked the gorgeous girl I was sat next to about Mexico.

"So," I said, "Would you say it is safe to walk around in Mexico City as a westerner?"

She started to tell me that the place is a lot safer now than it used to be, then stopped herself and said

"...except for kidnappings which are still a bit of a problem."

So I say, "Have you ever been kidnapped?"

"Yes of course" she said as though I had asked her if she had ever eaten a fajita, "most people I know know someone who has been kidnapped actually"


So I turn to the guy behind me and say,

"Scuse me guv, you're from Mexico right? Have you ever been kidnapped?"

"No not me," he says,


"...but my sister has."

Fuckin hell it sounds like a national pastime! Not quite able to believe this, I stopped everyone and asked if any Mexicans there did NOT have a close relation who had been kidnapped.

They sort of looked around sheepishly, as though I had asked if anyone had syphilis, before getting straight back to their drinks.

The other day, I done a rare act. I actually done something sensible! Yes that's right, I turned down the job in Egypt, probably on pain of international ostracism but I thought that was better than risking 2 years of boredom and blogs like >>>this one<<<

So now I'm on the warpath again, lookin for jobs. Mexico is obviously even more tempting after that night and I am likely to turn down a job here in the UK that I interviewed for on Friday, because it was so boring I could see myself swinging from the rafters after a term. On the menu of potential places, include India, Peru, Romania, China and Honduras.

Watch this space.
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