Not a good day for meetin...

I recently joined www.meetup.com on the advice of jase. It's a site that has been setup so that people with similar interests can meet up and so far have had zero luck meeting anyone with similar interests. All I really wanted to do with this was to meet people who may share similar interests to me for a drink and a chat.

After a quick browse through the selections last time you may recall I found the London Shyness meetup group, a group which surely is an oxymoron or at least someone with a lot of spots. I figured that if such a group could form in London then there must be some provision for a guy into some not-so-unfeasible things like myself.

Putting aside the obvious really weird shit that I'm into like sniffing people, gnome spanking, and wearing womens clothing, which I decided it best not to look up, I decided to look up my more mainstream pursuits. I set the search criteria to look for meetups in London and then proceeded to type in my main areas of interest.

In goes the search for Notting Hill Carnival, one of Europe's biggest street parties with nearly a million visitors a year.

...and back comes a list of meetups for clowns, the nearest one being in Hong Kong. hmmmm not really much use for meeting and discussing the finer points of costume design methinks. Sod that, let's try something else.

So I decided to search for my favourite writer, Alan Moore, the writer of the groundbreaking Watchmen, V for Vendetta and Swamp Thing, the comic that introduced John Constantine and redrew the boundaries of horror comics while establishing the Vertigo imprint on DC. Alan Moore, who I saw do a talk at the Institute of Education to nearly 1500 people a few weeks back is a national institution for us comics geeks, an English writer who still lives in a terraced house in Northampton while writing the comics that inspire comics writers and fans all over the world.

So in goes Alan Moore. And out comes a list of meetups for Mandy Moore. I think she's a pop singer with big tits.

Final throw of the dice. H.P. Lovecraft was a turn of the century horror author, who transformed the landscape of horror writing by applying a materialist philosophy to his writings. Instead of writing about the supernatural as such and thus making events in his books seem as though they rely on a distant force out of our ken, Lovecraft's approach was to create scenarios which were eerily possible and his horror was much more immediate and tangible as a result. Instead of the witches and demons of old e.g. Dracula, Lovecraft was more influenced by Edgar Allen Poe and Mary Shelley and would write with a basis in science instead of the occult. Some reviewers of his work say that his skill lay in formulating his plots such that rather than Humanity living in a perfectly ordered universe where chaotic things sometimes occured, he instead places humanity as the last bastion of sanity in a completely chaotic universe in which anything could conceivably happen. Lovecraft's work inspired all the contemporary horror writers including Stephen King who refers to him as "the horror genre's baroque prince" and Alan Moore and Neil Gaiman. Only last week Lovecraft was the chosen specialist subject for a contestant on mastermind and I recently read a graphic novel called "Necronauts" (brilliant by the way - read it) in which Lovecraft plays a central role. With his worldwide fame and influence you'd pretty much count on some bastard out there starting a meetup group. I mean for fucks sakes there exists a group exclusively for SHY PEOPLE!!!

So in goes Lovecraft. And out comes ONE SINGLE PERSON. ONE. SINGLE. PERSON.

I've now decided to give up trying to meet people who are interested in the sorts of things I'm interested in and have decided that my rather niche interests (I mean REALLY are they niche? I'm not so weird am I?) are unlikely to ever be shared by anyone.

But more than that I am rather sad that the creative talent of Alan Moore is deemed far less important to people to discuss and meet up over than Mandy Moore, who I presume is a talentless bimbo with big breasts. The fact that there are 5 times more people in London who are willing to meet up and discuss the Backstreet Boys than there are to talk about HP Lovecraft is a sad reflection of the sort of people that society is today breeding.

As for the carnival search, I already have my carnival group but it's a shame that carnival isn't something that people discuss all year round. My ideal world has carnival on every day. Still, I guess I can always get the carnival face paint and oversize shoes out and go join the clown meetup group for the rest of the year...

Hip hop and kung fu - what more could you want!

Just saw an episode of Kung faux! Oh my days it's brilliant! Hip hop heads, kung fu heads get out there and buy that DVD right now!

>>> Kung Faux Website <<<

"And remember Kung Faux rhymes with Gung Ho! So act like ya know!"

Alright I'll admit I couldn't take having Magnum's cock on my site any longer!

So it's gone...

if you're missing it go visit his site or click here. You weirdo.

One for the nerds

For all of you suffering the effects of studying right now...




oh cripes I've got to get rid of that picture of Magnum's cock

Every time I log on to the site at the moment and see Magnum's big turkish dick it nearly takes my eye out. Heck it's startin to make me feel a little insecure....

Jeff Smith in town

Occasionally I do wonder about my state of perpetual singledom and then I remember...I'm a physics teacher and comics nerd. And it all makes sense.

Of course, I guess I'm not a stereotypical physics teacher (I'm out of work for a start - most other physics teachers aren't!) but I'd like to think I'm headed in the right direction with being a comics geek.

Last week I saw my all time hero, the man who redefined the comics medium and made me love comics again. Alan Moore, a man who still lives in Northampton and is a practising magician and writer of Watchmen, V for Vendetta, From Hell and the frankly unmatched Swamp Thing is to me the pinnacle of writing. This is a man who understands the medium of comics like no other and his work has set the standard to which the writers of today aspire to. For example the mighty Neil Gaiman pays reverent homage to the Swamp Thing most excellently in "Sandman: The Doll's House"

Shaking his hand and chatting to him, he's so down to earth. Still a big hero in my books, though I don't really get much of his recent stuff.

Anyway, I was in town today and was well chuffed to see that Jeff Smith, writer of Bone was doing a free talk in Borders. I didn't realise that the Bone saga has now ended, and is being rereleased in colour.

So naturally I had to see this. And here's me lookin like a fanboy!



After the show we were chattin and one guy I met lamented the fact that Doctor Who is now mainstream and that comics are acceptable as adult reading these days (debatable but if they are it's due in large part to Alan Moore and Meil Gaiman) His full comment was "Damn! I mean nowadays we geeks can even get girlfriends!"

Hey there's hope for us all...

>>> Geeky Guy, Daves website <<<

>>> Jeff Smiths Boneville <<<

New and even BIGGER moron (in more ways than one ladies...)

Following up my earlier post on the subject of guys who have been responding to my ad, I'd like to introduce you ladies and gentlemen to Magnum Burhan.

After a close lady-friend of mine told me about the grief that she got when she posted an ad up here from weirdos sending strange pics, I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised.

I just want to make sure you're sitting comfortably as Magnum has something to show you.




hello i m gigolo
who want sex with me waiting
i live in Turkey but mine very big think and feel ;)
who want travel with me waiting
cell: +90 505 5114**9
msn: horny1900@hotmail.com
yahoo: horny3131
Magnum Burhan
I M NOT GAY
http://profiles.yahoo.com/horny3131

[Picture of Magnums cock removed cos it was erm...taking up too much space]

Is this guy for real?! Heck his face can't really look like that can it?!

Having misplaced my sense of humour lately I could only muster up the following pretty lame response on the email.

erm...
Magnum if you're not gay then why are you sending me pictures of your cock?
I am a man. that's a MAN. I have a cock of my own. Thanks for the offer
anyway...


Is this how they woo the ladies in Turkey?

If only Mozart had learnt the electric guitar...



Funtwo, the Korean guy here responsible for this and Jerry C, the guy responsible for inspiring him are definitely the closest thing to God this side of Heaven. How many times I've listened to this I don't know, but I still love the little bit where he stops playin for a second. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.

I bet Pachabel is dancin in his grave.

Morons exposed

Looking at the post below that I put on gumtree you'd think it was pretty obvious to most people with a brain cell that I'm a MAN who has lost the post of a WOMAN.

Well clearly that is not the case. I was chattin to someone the other day who complained to me that when she posted on the net she got a bunch of saddos, who didn't even read her profile, answering with cut and pasted responses, desperate for a boffing.

After posting this thing in the "girls lookin for guys" section where I found the original post, I see exactly what she means. Check these little gems out...




i am shane
my number 07950180**1
call me



Hmmmm would YOU?







Hi,
I m Kevin, 29 yrs old, 5 foot 9 inches tall, light skin ( My pparents are mix ) an attractive guy with a tender heart.
I m from Australia and working here as a Chef ( Italian)
I am a very positive , caring, loving and romantic guy.Love sports, like travelling, cinema, movies.
Photography and swimming are my hobbies.
Please drop me a mail,then I will reply with my pic.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Have a great weekend dear
kevin

Twat - read the bloody post - what sort of girl do you think is going to date you when you've not even READ what she has to say!?! Moron...




Hi,

I am a 26 year old black man, finance professional with a zest for life, which I indulge myself in films, tv, sport and anything fun. I found your profile very refreshing and would like to get to know you.


Kind regards,

Twat - You "found my profile very refreshing"?!?! What part did you find 'refreshing' exactly? The part that said I was a man!?!




hi babe i wana get know u
0777213**4

Yeah the first way to do that would be to read my profile. It says I'm a man. What a moron




Seriously though. What idiot answers a post froma girl expecting to get some nookie without even reading the damn thing?! The sort of guy who doesn't listen to his woman perhaps? The sort of guy who is destined to be turned down cos he will go for absolutely anyone perhaps? The sort of guy that all women despise maybe?

Me?

Yeah probably...

I just want to add that it's not like me to expose people who email me on my blog. I don't really think that's on. The people who are here on this post are exactly the sorts of people who we don't want responding to women on sites like gumtree. They are the sort of people who put nice girls off posting as they don't care one iota about the people they are mailing. If you're offended by these posts, then why not think about the people you have mailed and how they feel about getting cut and pasted, soulless email back aftert all their efforts. Sort your lives out.

My new gumtree ad

Has anyone seen that REALLY fit physicist's ad?

I was on here yesterday and there was an ad for a REALLY gorgeous Indian girl who claimed to be a physicist. Now I'm not a stalker or anything but I just wanted to look at her profile again cos she had lovely eyes and a penchant for lingerie that I've never seen in physicists before.

As a physics teacher I thought she would make a great role model for kids and just wanted to track her down to ask her to come into my school and do a talk to encourage the horny adolescent boys to take up physics. With all the closures of physics departments across the country recently, I see having a really fit girl in lingerie in my physics lab as doing a public service.

If anyone knows what happened to this ad or would like to pose in lingerie in my lab while talking about physics please don't hesitate to contact me.

Dressed for the lab


Back in nerdier days in the past as a physicist I couldn't help noticing that my course was desperately low on girls without beards. Apart from Nicky (above) who was a adolescent boys (and my...) physics wet dream physics, as everyone knows, tends to attract the very best kind of nerd.

I'm sure it wasn't Einstein who came up with the old nightclub saying "if you bring the girls the boys will follow" so it was with great pleasure I dug up >>>>> this babe <<<<< on gumtree.

In my humble opinion she is the creation of some crazy nerd, but I sent her an email anyway, with the address of this site on. I mean get this she claims to have fallen in love with her female physics teacher too. Hmmm lesbian physicist fantasy ahoy!

Hopefully, in her bid to prove me wrong, that she DOES actually exist and she DOES actually happen to have a fetish for lingerie, maybe she'll come round in stockings and suspenders.

I need to get out more don't I?

Japanese schoolgirl masturbation!?! What the fuck!?!

As regular readers may know, lately I've had far too much time on my hands and I thought that with this time I may as well take a bit of time to promote this site and try to get some comments for a change.

Hence the addition of the London Bloggers link on the side and some sly posts around the place with the URL. On top of this I've been tracking visitor numbers with statcounter and just check up every day to see if people are actually reading the thing, not that I would stop posting but ya know it's good for the ego. The link in the bottom left hand side links to the site stats for this site.

Anyway I was lookin at the stats earlier and statcounter is actually really good. As a freebie it is great in that if you click on visitor paths it allows you to track where all your hits are coming in from.

So I scrolled down the list of locations that people who hit the site came from and it gives you a list of the referring sites that they've clicked on too. So just a few big ups to my regulars before I continue this little tale:

Hi to KGB agent in Buzau and all the little minions! I see a direct click coming in from you today. Cheers!

A big hello to the dude in Colombia who logs on all the time. I've no idea who you are but thanks!

Oh yeah thanks to the Pole who thinks I'm a racist :-)

Not too sure why the centre for Information Studies in Washington keep logging on. Am I dodgy?

The random Kenyan. Cheers.

And of course, Hi to Jay, Jase and Carl and the South London Ch1nky as ever.

And finally, thanks to whoever logged on after doing a search on Ask Jeeves for Japanese Schoolgirl Masturbation, in which this site is bizarrely listed in fourth place. How the fuck it got there is anyone's guess, but hey that's one more reader to the site so I can't complain.

But honestly officer I'm clean!

The end of ageism and sexism - what a disaster

I just applied for a job in Saudi Arabia. As much as I hated working for the Arabs in the past I thought that the description sounded pretty good..

SUPER PERSON' sought. Prestigious Saudi family seek to employ an educated and articu-late individual to be a companion/mentor to their 15 year old daughter who speaks excellent English al-ready, and some French. This post might suit someone who is thinking of returning to teaching, or looking for a complete and challenging change of career. You would be based in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and travel to the UK and Europe during school holidays.

'Super Person' eh? I thought. I sometimes where my pants on the outside (not when around 15 year old girls though but let's move on from this chain of thought shall we...) so I thought I'd be ideal for the post.

When I gave the guy a call he was in the shower, so I left a message and he called me back.

"I'm really sorry but because of the nature of the client we were looking for a woman" he starts off apologetically, "but the stupid politically correct laws in this country mean we can't legally state that that's what we want so instead we've had to waste 50% of our time turning away men, which the advert should have done for us anyway."

Another triumph for idiocy then on the part of the politically correct lobby. You may recall I had a fit when my mate told me you couldn't mention the word "fat" when teaching kids about healthy eating. That's why I'm finding it hard to justify going back into teaching, when you can't actually make a difference any more cos your hands are tied by the bunch of idiots in charge.

The guy then goes on to say, "We also wanted to mention that salary is comensurate with age and experience. But again we're not allowed to say that now."

So I have decided to write my own ad for the job, just in case you want to apply. I've had to take out some details to try to make sure I didn't discriminate against non "super" people, people who don't like rich Saudis, people who are scared of 15 year old girls, anyone who may not be returning to teaching, or anyone not able to travel. It goes like this...

Job offered. Apply below.

Cuddle party article on Telegraph website

Remember those "Where's Wally?" books?

Takin a quick look at the Telegraph website you can play a similar game called "Where's Andy" in which you can search amongst loads of people for the twat with the big black specs. Check it for yourself!

>>> Click here for The Telegraph Cuddle Party Article <<<

A legal note

Excuse me Sir

I'm writing to inform you of copyright infringement on your site, http://students.ou.edu/H/Andrew.B.Hoang-1/. If you loook VERY closely you'll find that actually I am Andrew Hoang - The man the myth and the legend. I kindy request that you change this to "Andrew B. Hoang - Just another Andrew Hoang but not quite as handsome as the first one, hence why I had to be demarked by a B., probably signifying my second-place inferiority to the first one, whose site can be found at www.andytgeezer.blogspot.com" or something similar.

Kind regards
Andrew Hoang's lawyers

Serious breach of copyright: Should I sue?

I just googled myself and was a little surprised to find that my yellow ass wasn't top of the pile - even after all my dumb attempts to get in the media - but instead some America Student has taken to passing himself off as "Andrew Hoang - the man the myth the legend"

I've written him a warning and tried to make it as legal-sounding as possible. Maybe he'll get scared and run away...

Self promotion

Everyone go out and buy the Independent and the Sunday Telegraph this Sunday. I'm in it. What more reason do you need? Well if you do need a reason, apparently I make a "cameo appearance with my umbilical cord"

Yeah my mind boggles too!

The London Shyness Group

I've recently joined www.meetup.com and joined up to a martial arts group who meet every sunday to talk and train in the mystic arts. Makes sense.

While on the site I couldn't help noticing there's also a London Shyness Group, whose blurb advertises the following...

"Meet other people who suffer from shyness or social phobia. Offer support and understanding and share stories. Feel comfortable to walk into a room full of new friends and start up or join in a conversation with like-minded people."

I just pictured the scene. One guy walks into a pub. Looks around. Sees someone he thinks might also be a member. Looks around a bit more. Social phobia kicks in when he realises that there are actually more people in the pub. He runs away.

The rest of the night is spent with the remaining group members, mumbling to each other, desperate not to draw attention to themselves. At the end no-one can get up the courage to ask for anyone elses number.

The group has only 1 member at the moment. The mind boggles...

Cuddle party

I've become pretty active on the internet meet-up scene recently since losing my job. As great a city as it is, London can be a strangely empty place for a single guy, so I decided to put my reservations aside and put a few ads out for company.

OK I thought it was pretty sad too but as it's turned out, this last week has been brilliant, and I was pleasantly surprised when my ad on gumtree got a load of replies from girls around my age, one of them a ballet dancer! A flippin ballet dancer! Can you believe that!?

Anyway, last weekend I decided to go a step further than just meetin friends to go to the theatre with after seein an ad in the Time Out for something called a Cuddle Party. According to the blurb...

"Cuddle Party is a fun, sociable workshop where you can fill up on your RDA of nurturing, non-sexual, affectionate touch in a safe and structured environment. A place for cuddles and snuggles, for practising communication and boundary setting skills, for back rubs, for naps, for meeting nice folks, for just being .. "

Non-Sexual!? Sign me up!!

Definitely not one for sex or for that matter even touching people, I thought this seemed like a great idea. As you may recall from my earlier post for Lapdance Island, girls scare the living shit out of me, so the idea of getting in a room and having boys (and girls) touching me should have scared bejesus out of me shouldn't it? Well yeah actually it did. So I signed up for it. I guess it's rollercoaster mentality...

I turned up a tad bit early and, not wanting to look desperate I found the place, quickly scoped out the competition and walked past, ya know, minding my own business.

Reconnaisance spotted another character, of no readily discernible sex waiting outside. Clearly not afraid to show how much it needed care and attention I decided to walk past and actually whistled to disguise the fact that I was meant to be in there. No-one was fooled by my sly gesture.

With 20 minutes to go before the doors opened, I figured it best to read the letter sent and found that the party had a dress code. Being the all-conquering dancing god that I am, I rarely ever go to club with dress codes - their loss I think if they don't let me in, cos I'll obviously be the best dancer in the place - but the dress code here was a little diffferent from the standard issue shirt and shoes, pretentious wank usually prescribed.

"Pyjamas or loose tracksuit bottoms and a cosy T-shirt" - bugger. I was in jeans and a T-shirt that looked far too cool for purpose.

For the first time ever I found myself in need of emergency pyjamas. With the clock ticking I legged it down the street to the local charity shop and rummaged through the racks. Nothing. All I could find was a pair of Adidas bottoms and a cool cancer research T-shirt. Now, lookin part-chav and part crusading volunteer I headed back.

no-readily-discernible had disappeared inside. I headed in.

Strangely enough for a place with a pyjama dress code there was nowhere to change and I found myself in a small room, stacked to the ceiling with education books (I'm a teacher - of course i'd notice "How Children Fail" by John Holt"). All the girls were takin it in turn to go into the girls toilets and the guys were stood shyly lookin across the room with the books in, when I decided to say "well shucks let's start it off with a trouser-changing party. Tell ya what I'll go first." Next thing ya know everyone was in their boxers. Damn what a hero! *shudder*

The start of the party was a long and quite dull, but necessary talk where the rules were outlined. Ya know the sort of thing. No shaggin, keep yer knob in (even though there was this uncomfortable chat about ya know, what happens if the soldier stands to attention that sort of thing and apparently later on one of the girls noticed someone pitching a tent), practising saying no, and asking for what you wanted. I gotta say it worked out really well actually and all the rules did seem to serve their purpose when the action got under way, but it seemed pretty dull at first.

The talk was broken up by this hilarious Portugese bird who kept buttin in to say "look shut up man! When are we going to start hugging each other!" and the classic quote "You know I heard about this and I didn't know what it was. Of course I know what a party is but a "cuddle party"?So I got my dictionary out..." That cracked me up! I can see it now...

When the action got under way I'll admit I was scared. I held back for about 20 minutes and just let everyone else cuddle up first and my intrinsic fear of women kicked in in a really bad way. All I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and sleep til it was all over. It was really stressful.

But a cudddle party is a no pressure environment. If you want to curl up and nap then that's fine. So I did. I fell asleep. On the carpet with everyone cuddling around me. Fine.

After a brief nap, I woke up to find everyone STILL cuddling. Jesus. Don't these people ever get tired of touching each other! Still a little terrified I made to move when I got intercepted by no-readily-discernible. "Can I have a hug?" it said. "What the hell" I thought. My arms went round and that was it. I had started my cuddle party experience by huggin a person whose sex I was not quite sure of.

Job done, I loped off to a corner and someone called from across the room. "Mind if I jump on you in a schoolyard bundle stylee?" Well now THAT was more like it!

No pissin about with affection and neediness. Just jump on me big boy! Of course I was up for that and next thing ya know I was under a big pile of cuddly people in the sort of bundle I'd never before experienced. One in which people weren't tryin to splatter your guts across the pavement, but were actually cuddling each other at the same time. Weird. But kinda nice in it's own way. I could feel myself gettin into this....

With the seal broken on contact I had no excuse and I couldn't really hold back any longer. Any bit of person I could touch, I did touch and it was great! Still a little nervous I felt my confidence grow with every hug I got from a random stranger. By the end of the 3 hours, I think I had cuddled everyone there, old and young, fatty and skinny and learnt at least 3 new ways to hug. I had rubbed noses with a really attractive masseuse and cuddled a dead attractive foreigner, who I would never have even had the guts to talk to in the street.



So was it a success? Would I do it again? Yes and maybe. Cos everyone's so up for cuddling it does exactly what it says on the tin. As a workshop for affection and human contact it works really well. Completely innocent human contact feels great and I felt high as a cloud after the event, as did a lot of the others. I think that part of that was from getting over the fear of human contact though. I guess part of it was feeling good that I'd actually got through it at all. Rollercoaster mentality.

So I doubt that I'd get the same high again next time.

One of the aims of the party is to spread a bit of love and empower party-goers to ask for what they want and not be afraid out there in the wide world. If you want a cuddle, just ask. I feel after Sunday that actually I am rather empowered, probably enough to be askin some of you readers out there for a hug next time we meet.

In my mind that means that to go back would indicate one of two things. Either you still need to build up your confidence before going out and gettin affection from the world, or you just want to touch strangers again for two hours. Nothin wrong with either of those but I think I've had my fill for now and I'm quite happy to go back to being good old me.

So keep yer distance. Only jokin....

A refugee's story part 2 - A white boy is born to yellow parents

I grew up white.

I was born with yellow skin in a hospital in South London in the winter of 1980, across the river from Bow but near enough to make me think I'm a cockney. I never really moved all that far from these London roots, going to university in Coventry but coming back, then travelling far and wide only to find my way back to Thamesmead.

I found out at a later time that the nurse in the Woolwich Army hospital for mothers and babies was the same nurse who attended my mother on her death bed 20 years later. By the time she passed away I had gone through the school system pretty successfully, and was well on my way to being a teacher, a good stable job in the UK and maybe even a job for life if such a term exists in this day and age.

At school I was no angel but bright enough to get through with good reports and excelled in maths like every other Vietnamese kid in the place. I always put that down to the fact that mathematics is not dependent on language and as a result the universal code that is mathematics could be much better deciphered than the English work we were set, but now I'm older I think that's not the case at all. After all I had no language problems at all. I was born in the UK and English was my first language. But it's not politically correct these days to say that one race is just better at maths than another, so for the purposes of this piece I'll maintain that it was because of language.

I came out of school with good grades and went to Warwick where I studied Physics. What mother wouldn't have been proud? I was the picture of a successful British upbringing and there was no doubt I would do my country proud.

Looking back on growing up, I have mainly fond memories of childhood. The less happy ones are easier to understand now in the light of my present knowledge.

Other than my earliest memory of crawling around on a floor with a bright light overhead in a cramped flat my earliest memories were filled with play and the naiveté of youth. As a young boy, I don't remember a time when my whole family lived happily together. As far as I was aware, I lived with my father, while my mother had been to university and come back to find her own house, where she lived with one other brother, U. I knew that my gran lived with my other brother, H just up the road. And as a small boy I was as happy as could be.

I was worked hard but allowed a lot of room for play and I can remember how everyone used to think my dad was the coolest dad on the block because he bought Ferrero Rocher's and let me dig up the garden and fill the muddy holes up with water. The twins, Chris and Terry used to come around every day and we'd fill the holes up with water and run around an assault course in the garden for what seemed like hours, making a mess and shouting at each other like kids do in English.

Occasionally I would go round and see Mum. She lived about 10 minutes walk away so it was not hard to go round and see her. My brother H and my gran lived across the road, no more than the throw of a grain of rice away. We could have gone around at any time, but I tended to see H a lot less and even now I don't think we're close.

Only now that I'm older can I see the whole picture. Only now do I see what happened before I was aware of the world and what led us to live our separate lives and it all makes sense to me. Before I was born a lot of senseless things happened which blew our lives apart and wrecked our family but how was I to know? My parents spared me the details.

Childhood was bliss. I guess that's what they say about ignorance isn't it? But now I am no longer a child and history books reveal so much.

Vietnamese banana wanting to get back in touch with my roots - Age 26

Hi I'm mischief, 26 and I'm a banana. Yeah those of you Viets in the know realise that that means that I'm yellow on the outside and white on the inside.

It's taken me a while to realise it but I'm now not happy with being so white inside and want to learn Vietnamese and about myself. My vocab is really poor and my grammar nearly non-existent cos I've lived as a white boy for far too long, going to university (Physics BSc, PGCE Secondary Science and TEFL - TEFL for God's sakes! How much more English and middle class can you get!?!) and I think it's about time I addressed this.

I'm not quite prepared to take off and immerse myself in Vietnam so I'm looking to meet Vietnamese people, hopefully to speak Vietnamese (badly) and to try and rediscover what it's like to be foreign. Not sure how one goes about doing this but I am into movies, reading comics and going to the theatre and eating and drinking out. Oh yeah I'll also play football anywhere at the drop of a hat and I dance for a large carnival group in North London. If you want to just go and hang out, catch a show or a gallery or something, play football, grab a beer and chat in Vietnamese then you are the person I'm lookin for.

Get in touch but don't write in Vietnamese cos I won't be able to read it (well I will but it will take me ages and I will probably end up getting the pronunciation and tone wrong and thinking that you have said "Dog" instead of "give" or "banana" instead of "crawl" (you'll only know what I mean if you're Vietnamese) so it will just appear like gibberish to me.

Looking forward to hearing from anyone at all. Heck if you're not Vietnamese and just want a laugh then I'm open-minded too.

[original ad appeared on >> gumtree <<]

...and now I'm in a music video too!


Karneval Aalborg 2003
Originally uploaded by andytgeezer.
At carnival this year, Nicola told me I had been filmed a few years back (2002) dancing with Yaa as the bat and that this had been made into a music video, which was being shown every day on MTV Base. Not a lot of use to me admittedly, as I don't have cable TV, but I've finally tracked this video down on the producers website and here it is >> right here. << and below.

There was me thinkin that I was a star but in actual fact I only appear for about 5 seconds at about 1 minute 17 seconds in. Not a bad debut though.

Enjoy...


Photos photos everywhere!

At the moment I'm dead keen to get pics of me out there but flickr, yahoo and msn all obviously have limits on how much you can upload so I've decided to use all three.

The addresses of all of them are...

http://andytgeezer.spaces.live.com/

http://uk.360.yahoo.com/sally500uk

http://www.flickr.com/photos/andytgeezer

Enjoy!

Another one bites the dust

As you know, I have recently left a job as a physics teacher on account that the teaching establishment is too conservative and I don't think that new technologies are being utilised properly yet in secondary education, but it looks like the nationwide shortage of physics teachers is really strangling the subject to death.

Reading has just closed it's physics department and joins a growing list of leading universities including Newcastle to close it's doors to physicists.

What we're seeing here is a failure on the part of the government to entice and retain physics teachers and a clear lack of understanding of us as professionals and people. Physicists are a diverse people and we have so much opportunity out there for better paid jobs that aren't so damn constrained, yet schools continue to want to see these incredibly gifted, intelligent and forward thinking people performing and teaching in outdated ways with little or no financial support in most cases (that was not the case with my old school of course, rich private school that it was).

There are some great teachers out there and they are consistently being let down by a system that doesn't pay nearly enogh against the payoffs that physics graduates can get elsewhere, insists on standards that are frankly patronising and doesn't recognise and reward innovation.

Teaching is a great profession or it should be, and physics is a great subject. But you just have to look at the facts that pupils are just not doing it any more. Where are all the teachers gone? When is the government going to stop making physics teaching look like a second class profession?