It's not every day that I have truly inspirational ideas but this week I've had two. One of them involves being naked and the other involves being gay.
Having just spent 3 months on a kids adventure holiday camp, singing to children I quickly conquered my fear of singing in public to kids and actually ended up quite enjoying it and taking every opportunity to sing silly songs to small children. In case you're wondering how small children and my nakedness tie in read on...
With my singing expertise (*ahem*) soon acknowledged in the camp as a foremost camp exciter it was suggested that perhaps my previous fear of singing to children was unfounded and perhaps nothing more than a hurdle holding me back from exploiting my hitherto untapped talent.
Now those of you who know me will know of my legendary fear of nakedness and, more specifically my critical phobia of nakedness in front of other people, which has become a serious obstacle in getting Yours Truly laid.
George, one of our resident geniuses at Quantock suggested a very simple solution to this problem, building on the success of the previous head-on immersion therapy of child singing. No she didn't suggest I get naked in front of the kids.
Today I got a response from one of the art classes I contacted. They hold nude modelling sessions sporadically on tuesdays and thursdays and are gonna call me up whenever they need a nudey. They pay 15 quid an hour, but you know I'll have trouble staying still for 2 hours. Get your cocks out for the lads!
My second brainwave occured just as I was dropping off to sleep and jolted me out of bed to write this piece.
It's gay pride tomorrow right and I figure that birds really dig gay guys. Birds always hang around with fags, it's a fact. I also figure that taking it up the arse is just something that gay guys SAY they do but don't really. It's just another part of their devious ploy to get birds to fancy them right. I mean who would really want to take it up the arse!?! Bloody Nora!!!
As I've never met a man who would really want to take a cock up the arse, or stick one anywhere near their face I figure that all men must really be straight and that all gay guys are really just in a conspiracy to try to get birds to fancy them.
This normally works as well, and hence Gay Pride tomorrow is obviously gonna have loads of straight horny women roaming around as well looking for some so-called "gay" men to take home and give a good shagging to.
And I will obviously be posing as one of these gay men, because I know what they're up to. They're not gonna pull the wool over my eyes.
Fuckers.
