Archives 2002: mischief's soap opera life

Not sure if any of you have ever heard of Sylvester Williams. He's famous you know. He was once on some sort of TV program. Dunno if any of you have ever heard of it.

It's called Eastenders.

I taught him how to use a computer :-)

Today definitely scores 10 out of 10 for sheer surprise value and the fact that I am grinning insanely like the proverbial "cheshire cat". There was me thinking that life was effectively over for a year and that all that lay in store was the mundane recuperation of funds, when what do you know - I end up working in showbiz!

It was a really strange way to find out. You know me, I have no idea who is famous unless they are people with real talent like Michael Jackson. The cast of Eastenders could all be standing next to me in a bus queue and I wouldn't even know. So there I was in the afro-caribean food place having just stepped out of his BMW and ordered Curried Goat with Rice and Beans. Lookin around at all the signed photos and seeing my new boss on the wall was a shock! Anyway we had a damn good laugh about it and he was pleasantly surprised that I had never seen Eastenders.

I got a bit famous myself actually this week. I was in all the local papers in Paddington last week while making my costume for Notting Hill. It was a full colour picture with my name on it and everything in the Paddington Times, Kilburn Chronicle and some other one

:: All this time, the Cowparade was in town, a public art exhibition featuring a load of fibreglass cows. London in the summer was a great place to be. ::
Thought I'd take the day off, seeing as my work at Raleigh is almost complete anyway. My weekend exhaustion collapse coupled with a free ticket on any southwest train that they sent me to be used any time in July led me to a fairly simple conclusion: The beach!

Anyway I thought I'd jump on a train and go to the Isle of Wight via Portsmouth Harbour but when I got to Portsmouth and found out that the ferry costs 8 quid I decided to just chill in the Harbour instead. And that I did to the max. Lunch and a few pints by the sea and I feel ready to take on the world all over again although this time I might think about taking it easy once in a while especially as this heatwave is making me a lot slower than usual.

Sight of the day: An old toaster that had been thrown away in a roadworks in the middle of Oxford street. How the fuck did it get there!?! We shall never know...

:: And this was made even more exciting by Fopp opening up in Covent Garden. I was the first person through the doors, having waited religiously outside the doors for 3 days. It was worth it just for the T-shirt, especially if Uy ever gets round to giving it back to me. Matt was in San Francisco at the time ::
Matt

I implore you don't come back to London. Stay where you are.

London is now SERIOUSLY dangerous for your wallet.

Fopp has opened in Covent Garden.

I waited outside there intermitently for 3 days for it to open and was the first customer to walk through the doors. I am truly honoured and I've even got a Fopp T-shirt now that I wear with pride. But that place is going to bankrupt me. Stay where you are and you will be safe.

:: I didn't at this point realise I was gonna be taking off for the states myself and almost pre-emptively I started getting hungry for world affairs ::

Went to the Library and got out some books in the morning - Librarys are great places because books are fantastic anyway and free books are even better. Anyway I got my books out and was absolutely certain that the lady at the counter gave me a funny look. Anyway it all fell into place when i got home and realised that I'd borrowed two books back to back and she had put them through one after the next. The first one was "Bin Laden - The man who declared war on America" by Yossef Bodansky and the next was "How to Live and work in America" and I think she may have rung the police after I left. D'oh!

Interesting stuff that's put a smile on my face today have been mainly printed in newspapers and coming through my letterbox. I've just opened a letter , probably from a cult or some sort of ripoff merchant advertising a "new course that teaches everything"(!) Well fuck me why did I bother to do a degree when a course like this exists! It gets funnier as you read the blurb that follows..."Would you like boundless energy? Interested in transforming your appearance? Keen to lose that excess weight permanently? This is the programme for you!" And as you can guess the answer to all of those questions from me is a resounding "No". Brilliant.

Just as funny is the claim on the radio that I've just hear: Apparently there is a swimming Pool in Greece which sells itself on the claim that if you swim around it 3 times you will get your virginity back. hmmmmm....

The shock value publication was found inside my copy of TNT. You may or may not be familiar with this magazine, it's free on the high streets of Town where it is in one of those pickup booth things alongside Ms London and Girl About Town Magazine. Anyway I was innocently reading my copy of TNT, the Aussie publication which is printed for the express purpose of instructing aussies over here where to go to take all our jobs, and a copy of "The Sensi Seed bank catalogue" www.sensiseeds.com for more info on what I'm talking about here. I couldn't believe it - they were selling weed seeds, full growing kits and full instructions - not in some specialist magazine for smokers but in a pickup magazine for australian temps! I always thought those aussies seemed a little too chilled out...

Cows around town include my new findings, "I love moo" and "the cash cow" (actual names) but my joint fave is still "eurostar" and "no 36 bus" (probably not their real names)
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