Some characters on my corridor have been reading a book called "The Rules - a guide to capturing Mr Right" or somesuch rubbish lately, and I've been generally miserable following a long term in school so unable to get the joke.
I've been vaguely unsettled by the majority of suggestions in the rule book though. Of course it is only a book which should be taken with a pinch of salt and not entirely as a threat to MANkind and really not worth a whole load of typing that I'm doing, but I'm trying to waste time too so I though I'd get down my thoughts on the subject.
Among the rules are suggestions like "Don't ever agree to meet on the Wednesday after a saturday", "Don't talk to a man first (and don't ask him to dance)", "Don't stare at men or talk too much" and "Don't call him and rarely return his calls"
I knew that there was something that I found a little disturbing about this whole thing and I was told I was being given an insight into the female mind. After much thought I have decided that if this is indeed the rules by which the female mind operates then I would rather not have anything to do with females.
On closer inspection I realised that what troubled me was that really this was a guideline that played on creating disquiet in the male ego, playing Goddess with the emotions for the upper hand and exploiting insecurity for power and control. The concept of playing with a mans feelings rather than understanding them struck me as entirely immoral and the antithesis of what love should really be about.
Nowhere in the book is there any advice that any self respecting human would use in a relationship with a friend or someone they respect. It's all about power and securing control.
I get disturbed that if women really are attempting to manipulate mens insecurities in order to lure them into marriage then surely they are compounding the problem of insecurity and not helping to provide the security that we seek in our capacity as human beings. Following "the rules" by the letter is to exploit fragility and to create an insecure, unhappy partnership which will only cause long term relationship problems.
And this I guess is the problem that I've had with C. As a guy who's terrified of women anyway, here is a girl who is well versed in "the rules" and actually believes that any guy she meets has to see her as a "challenge". Guys who like said challenge are guys who play that game and I can't say I do.
Playing by the "rules" creates the problems of insecurity and doesn't solve them at all. Men like me want to know that we have something to call our own, secure in the knowledge that we can get on with what we have to do without having to feel like we're always chasing. The chase is really too tiring and it's the catch that gives us pleasure.
Take for example, young miss S. we are friends and I can feel secure in her presence. I always know she will be there for me when I'm going through a rough patch or whatever. i don't have to chase her to talk to her, she's on the end of a phone. If we're just talkin relationships, take Biohazard boy or C++ or Lebanese M who I know I can just meet up with and go for a long conversation wiht. I don't have to beg. Thank you all my friends, those of you who make me feel secure.
Isn't that all we want - isn't the idea of living that we are here to make life easier for our other living beings? Aren't we all here to make a secure living environment for each other?
I've only ever seen one couple who seem to exemplify that ideal - for whom the company of one just seems to bring a calm over the other - M and J. I think you 2 are brilliant and you should never be apart.
