Slit you are gonna kill me for this...

Alright Slit, you know the way I keep neglecting to tell you anything exciting that happened on holiday? (isn't getting headbutted by a cow enough for you!?!) Well you're gonna hate me for neglecting to mention the story about the guy in the bar window at Lucknow.

I forgot all about this, but as I mentioned earlier I've got my India diary with me, which I'm keeping my personal diary in for this holiday and I was having a little read cos the rest of todays entries were just not funny enough (cos nothin happens round here) and I stumbled across this gem. This is one I shoulda mentioned round at your birds house mate!

So there we were, Me and Sarah in the bar down in the basement of our hotel in Lucknow just chattin away all night about everything under the sun and, halfway through the night she asks me to keep her seat warm while she goes for piss right.

As she leaves she walks past this guy at the door who she notices has been staring at her through the window while we've been talkin and notes that he stares at her all the way into the bogs and she's a little perturbed but thinks nothin more of it because by then we are used to getting stared at anyway. I noticed him out the corner of my eye staring while we were talkin, but when he disappeared from the window I thought nothin of it and get back to my pint.

Sarah comes back from the pisser and says to me "I think you should come with me next time" and naturally I thought it was neither the time nor the place for such immorality and had to question her motives. "Because, you see that freaky guy at the window? I just saw him with his trousers around his ankles having a wank!"


I couldn't believe my ears. A lot of the guys in India are sexually frustrated but I hadn't realised quite how frustrated - I mean I went on to write about the internet chat room incident on that same day, which I told you about but how the fuck did I forget this one!?! I just keep you hangin on mate! You know you love it!

The last entry in the diary starts with the words, "I have been in hospital for the last 3 days/2 nights...", which aint a bad way to end a diary if you ask me.

There's another one in here too from Nepal that I forgot to mention - it's the one where I took the shortcut through the jungle at night instead of walking along the road. It's well funny! But as usual you'll just have to wait...

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