I'm going to Glastonbury again this year as a steward for Oxfam, up in the wusses field. Glasto happens on the 21st to the 26th of June for the Oxfamers and by god I am counting down the days I can tell you. Between here and there is a whole lot of pain and I get the impression that by that point I will really need the rest after a term of teaching and will probably be wondering what way to go.
It's become clear to me since taking up this damn job that though many of us, myself included, claim to long for a job with variety and innovation every day, one where we can make a change in the world, when we finally get one we end up longing for the mundane, just like Jon Ronson
Making a difference to peoples lives is hard.
I want to change the world but I can safely say I can't see myself teaching here in this country for the rest of my life. Ungrateful, unmanageable and spoilt kids, a life that is so busy I barely have time to eat, and the same old, same cold surroundings.
I daydream all the time these days about better things, a better life and strangely that better life is so mundane. It's as though I can no longer take the excitement I once aspired to as this is what this job is all about. No two days are the same and that is the both the perk and the downside.
I daydream about moving to Wudan mountain or the Shaolin temple and letting the extraordinary become everyday. I dream of leaving this place and all my friends behind and starting again with just what I know, and from that forging an existence of routine and predictability. I guess I had always said I wanted to challenge myself and to do a job that didn't tie me to a desk and that changed every day and now that I've got it, I don't want it any more.
Guess there's just no pleaseing some people.
