I've never dropped out of anything before. I was bloody close to dropping out of my physics degree at Warwick but there were reasons other than not being able to hack it. But actually dropping something has come as a massive shock and surprise.
I had it all for a while. I had a roof over my head in the nicest part of town, a beautiful girl for a best friend who I absolutely adore, a career for life. All I had to do was work out how to teach and I could have had it blissful for a year, but I fucked it up and I fucked it up bad. So I guess from one point of view I've lost it all now.
But let's be realistic about this. I'm out of a job that I feel that I am completely incompetent at that was making me physically sick.
Christina will always be around.
So really I've lost the roof over my head in the nice part of town and all student priveleges and the job for life that I feel I can't quite do. So it aint all bad.
As I pack my bags and head for the door it's important to try and keep this in perspective or I'll go fuckin mad. I've lost my girl, I've lost my job and I've lost my home and now I've got to fuckin pay council tax as well for the privelege. Ah shit. I've really fuckin fucked it this time haven't I...
