At last I'm back in paid employment and things are looking pretty promising again, hopefully those days of desperate unamployment are behind me. I didn't really like what I was doing at the music academy, I just wasn't getting into it and things have kinda fallen into place now.
Every experience is something which we can learn from though and though the lessons are not yet clear from this experience I can see that I have gone through a period of intense desperation that has wiped the smile off my face and made me realise the difficulty that people can face finding enough money to pay the bills. I was definitely one of the lucky ones in that I still had a roof over my head but the experience has dented me a bit, my manic energy has burnt out and my cheeky grin has turned into a grim smile. But all things considered I am still alive, my batteries will recharge, and a grim smile is still better than a frown.
Prisoners often say that the worst thing about being banged up is that it's just you and your thoughts and you go over the incident again and again and go out of your mind. For the unemployed graduate things aren't too far from that. As the days go on and the rejections keep coming in because you're either under- or overqulified you torment yourself with what you could have done with all the years you wasted. A million alternative lives flash past your eyes, and the 3 year sentence you have served is time you desperately want to make up for.
But like a prisoner who's just been let out, branded with the iron of Warwick University, society sees you with your worthless 2:2 qualification as some kind of outcast, intelligent but really not intelligent enough and for that matter you're seen as lacking the experience too. I would have spent just as useful a time for robbing a bank, and at least I would have met some interesting people and learnt something useful in the time.
As it stand this setback puts me well behind schedule and it looks like I may well have to shelve my grand plan as I neded a helluva lot more time and money which this setback does not allow.
Still, when a naked woman turns around you still see her bum so I'm not seeing this as the end of the world just an opportnuty to look into different avenues so to speak, and the initial moves have been made for my new role, which promises to be an alternative adventure.
Hopefully I am looking forward to some more positive writing as my mood turns away from my own thoughts and Mischief begins once more to write itself in glee.
